Will it be Heaven... or will it be Hell?

Off-Topic unrelated to other forums.
Lores
Overblown Windbag
Overblown Windbag
Posts:910
Joined:Wed Jan 24, 2007 11:34 pm
Location:Socialist Republic of America
Will it be Heaven... or will it be Hell?

Unread post by Lores » Thu Nov 06, 2008 3:39 am

Somehow this seemed ap per po. I dont know the source of the joke:


While walking down the street one day a US politician is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts so we're not sure what to do with you.'

'No problem, just let me in,' says the politician.

'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.'

'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the senator.

'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.' And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in golf attire. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf, then change into evening clothes before dining on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before the politician realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

'Now it's time to visit heaven.' So, 24 hours pass with the politician joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

'Well now, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.'

The politician reflects for a minute, then answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.'

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above...

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't understand,' stammers the senator. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?'

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted.'
SWG: Liamee PhocVi (Bocknock Cheflaphod inactive)
Vanguard: Lores, Lore
LOTRO: Lores, Lored, Helores, Cramps
Conan: Lores Lored
Warhammer: Lores, Lored, Reikiho, Shootist

The American people will never knowingly adopt Socialism. But under the name of 'liberalism' they will adopt every fragment of the Socialist program, until one day America will be a Socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.
- Norman Thomas 6 time US presidential candidate, famed socialist.

eirykhi
Spandex Crusader
Spandex Crusader
Posts:1248
Joined:Sun Mar 05, 2006 5:35 am
Location:USA Fort Wayne Indiana

Re: Will it be Heaven... or will it be Hell?

Unread post by eirykhi » Thu Nov 06, 2008 9:33 am

lol
I sneak in my own house.
It's four in the morning
I've had too much to drink
Said i was out with the boys
I creep in my bedroom
I slip into bed,
I know if i wake her,
I'll wake up dead

Istik
Machinating Paranoiac
Machinating Paranoiac
Posts:3401
Joined:Wed Nov 21, 2007 3:33 am
Location:Tasmania
Contact:

Re: Will it be Heaven... or will it be Hell?

Unread post by Istik » Thu Nov 06, 2008 11:48 am

Very true.
Image

tnajus
Nonsensical Pepperpot
Nonsensical Pepperpot
Posts:77
Joined:Tue Dec 04, 2007 5:45 am
Contact:

Re: Will it be Heaven... or will it be Hell?

Unread post by tnajus » Thu Nov 06, 2008 12:11 pm

Only time will tell
Life is not about the number of breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away.

gelfling
Machinating Paranoiac
Machinating Paranoiac
Posts:3450
Joined:Sat Mar 04, 2006 8:48 pm
Location:Tasmania :)

Re: Will it be Heaven... or will it be Hell?

Unread post by gelfling » Fri Nov 07, 2008 2:29 am

LOL that was very good indeed :)
"Let your love flow outward through the universe,
To its height, its depth, its broad extent,
A limitless love, without hatred or enmity."

- Sutta Nipata

Post Reply