TASSY P2P FORUMS

Back in England, not content with naming themselves after a moustachioed 'Santana' presenter, Sunday League outfit Lynam FC changed their names by deedpoll to some of the world's top footballers, in a bid to improve their disastrous record.

Out went Ben White, Darren Yeomans, Majid Ali, Paul Blears et al - in came Thierry Henry, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Steven Gerrard, Lionel Messi, Kaka...

Sadly, it didn’t prevent them crashing out of the Cup to Birmingham rivals The Iron Horse. Following the 5-1 defeat, captain John Terry (formerly known as Ian Flett) admitted: "It was tough because it was Ronaldinho's birthday the night before, Thierry and Ruud smoke 20 a day, and Gerrard is always half cut on a Sunday."